Saw this on the blog http://socialbusinesssa.blogspot.com/
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Friday, June 12, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
The Economy
On a lighter note... (got this in a forward)
If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago you would have $49.00 left.
With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.
With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.
But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drunk all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have $214.00 cash.
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
It's called the 401-Keg.
A recent study found the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found Americans drink, on the average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.
Makes you proud to be an American!
If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago you would have $49.00 left.
With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.
With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.
But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drunk all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have $214.00 cash.
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
It's called the 401-Keg.
A recent study found the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found Americans drink, on the average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.
Makes you proud to be an American!
Friday, October 10, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Recruitment
How to recruit the right person for the job?
"Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window."
Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.
.
.
.
Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.
.
.
.
If they are counting the bricks. Put them in the Accounts Department.
If they are recounting them.Put them in auditing.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks. Put them in engineering.
If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order. Put them in planning.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other. Put them in operations.
If they are sleeping. Put them in security.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces. Put them in information technology.
If they are sitting idle. Put them in human resources.
If they say they have tried different combination's, yet not a brick has been moved. Put them in sales.
If they have already left for the day. Put them in marketing.
If they are staring out of the window. Put them on strategic planning.
.
.
.
And then last but not least. If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved. Congratulate them and put them in top management.
"Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window."
Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.
.
.
.
Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.
.
.
.
If they are counting the bricks. Put them in the Accounts Department.
If they are recounting them.Put them in auditing.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks. Put them in engineering.
If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order. Put them in planning.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other. Put them in operations.
If they are sleeping. Put them in security.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces. Put them in information technology.
If they are sitting idle. Put them in human resources.
If they say they have tried different combination's, yet not a brick has been moved. Put them in sales.
If they have already left for the day. Put them in marketing.
If they are staring out of the window. Put them on strategic planning.
.
.
.
And then last but not least. If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved. Congratulate them and put them in top management.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
The Stock Market simply illustrated
Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs 10. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at Rs 10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at Rs 20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.
The offer rate increased to Rs 25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey let alone catch it.
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs 50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at Rs 35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for Rs 50."
The villagers squeezed up with all their savings to buy the monkeys.
Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere !! !!
The man bought thousands at Rs 10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at Rs 20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.
The offer rate increased to Rs 25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey let alone catch it.
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs 50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at Rs 35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for Rs 50."
The villagers squeezed up with all their savings to buy the monkeys.
Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere !! !!
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
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